The family

The family
The family

Monday, January 24, 2011

My Dear Daughter and her Family

Today I got up and the first thing I did was check my Face Book page. and looked to see if anyone was in need of a cheery word or two. and it was obvious to me that my sweet daughter Amy was really having a hard day because this is the week of he sweet little Gabie’s birthday. He would have been two years old on the 26th, so I called her. She had gone back to bed and was struggling with even wanting to face the day. I told her that it was ok to have a bad day now and then and this week it was to be expected so I thought she should cut herself some slack. Then she told me about her latest post on her blog page and warned me not to read it unless I wanted to have a good cry. So what did I do, I went right to her blog and read it. I always seem to do what I’m told not to do if my children are sad or hurting, I just have to hurt right along with them. Any way this is her post. I wanted to share it because she is such a strong person but I want everyone who reads this to understand that even strong people have their moments of weakness, hurt, sadness, and a need to express themselves. Without anyone trying to make it better or judging them, or anything else. They just need to say what they are feeling and know that it’s ok to feel that way. So here is her post. Along with other info that we have been doing to make this week , maybe not easier but worth going through. This week we have to have a purpose, a way to celebrate the amazing little boy we all miss so much. If your interested in reading more about my sweet daughter and her family go to da.savillefamily.org      

Dear Son,

It’s Sunday night and I can’t get you off my mind. Your birthday will be this week and I’m struggling.  We’ve accomplished an amazing project in your name. I’m sure you’ve helped us along the was to make sure it was a big success. I’m sorry I didn’t read any books to you while you were waiting to return to Heavenly Father. I hope this project makes sure that no other mother has such a simple regret. I also hope our book drive will bring joy to children so that they can heal and return home to their families.

Tonight I was thinking of the things I feel like I should be doing to prepare for your 2nd birthday. I should have a closet somewhere with toys, clothes, books and fun things to wrap for you. I should be talking to dad everyday about what amazing cake he’s going to make for you. Daddy loves to create masterpiece cakes for his boys. I should be planning a family birthday day party and making sure all the Grandparents can come and be here. I should be listening to you say your first few words and watching you toddle around the house getting into everything like a 2 year old does. I should be able to go into you and Isaac’s room and watch you sleep soundly and cuddle your teddy bear “scout”.

Instead I’m sitting here at the computer pouring my heart out through the millions of tears streaming down my cheeks. I’m thinking about getting the books sorted so we can take them to separate hospitals this week. I’m nervous to go to the hospital where I said good bye to you and try to keep it together and deliver books to the children there. I’m wondering if we should have a cake or not on your birthday. Dad’s not sure he can go to the effort to build you a beautiful cake when you’re not here to blow out the candles and make a mess of it. I understand how he feels. We’re not big cake eaters anyway and & if you’re not here to watch enjoy it, where is the fun in making it. I’m thinking about my dirty house and how I need to clean it but how I wonder if I’ll be able to accomplish anything this week besides the book drive. I’m thinking about the things I miss about you and the things that I know you’d be doing and I don’t’ get to see those milestones. I’m thinking about that little boy in California who will be turning 1 this week too and only because you shared your heart with him.  I’m thinking about how proud I am of you for being such a perfect son of God that your were able to have such an important mission here on earth. And a selfish part of me wishes' you hadn’t been so perfect.

I want to tell you some things going on with your Sisters and brother. Katie misses you a lot, she is my strong helper though. She watches for me to be sad and then make’s it her job to hug me and love me until I’m ok. She wants to tell her friends about you but they being young and not knowing what to say to her change the subject and she feels like she can’t talk about you. It breaks her heart to not share you with her friends.
Madison misses you so much too. She misses being your second mother. Madison mothers everyone and I know she misses getting you out of bed in the morning so you could go wake up Katie by yelling at her. Madison misses dressing you and taking care of you. She breaks down every now and then and just cuddles me and cries with sadness. Madison’s class on the other hand can’t seem to learn enough about you. They are always asking her questions. A little boy in her class asks me questions when I go into help. One day he said, “Mrs. Saville Madison said Gabe is in Heaven, do you really think that there is a Heaven?” I off course told him yes and that we knew that you were there.
Jenna boo misses you too but she doesn’t talk about it to much. She just starts crying out of the blue and says “I really miss Gabe” We spend that time looking through your scrapbooks. I think Jenna is the one who looks through the scrapbooks the very most.
Isaac misses his brother a lot. He spends his week days trying to get me to play action figures with him because his playmate is not longer here. He’s started having a friend play date twice a week that helps but he still misses you. A couple weeks ago one of his friends was admiring your Lightning McQueen car on the cedar chest and Isaac immediately got up and told the friend “That is Gabie’s car and he died, we don’t play with Gabie’s car” He is definitely a big brother still protecting his little brother. Isaac talks about you all the time. I think he’s still unsure how and why you left us. As far as he’s concerned monsters took you away. I know that’s not true but I understand feeling that way.

Now about daddy, he misses you so  much. He doesn’t cry or show his emotions publicly like I do, but I know his heart aches like mine does. He spends so much time away from the rest of us at work and I know he get’s lonely. I really can’t wait until we’re all in one place again. I worry about him being lonely. Daddy is also the very best at holding me when I’m sad. The only problem is I get sad all to much when he’s in Dugway and can’t hold me. He really is the only one who makes me feel better, or who will just hang on to me while I sob. I’m so grateful he’s my eternal companion. Where would we be in this without the gospel. I hate to even think of that.

I have mostly expressed my feelings above but I can’t tell you enough how proud I am to  me your mother. I can’t tell you enough how much I miss you and I can’t explain to anyone how much my heart aches. But I wanted to make sure that I sent you birthday wishes for this week where ever you may be. I know you’re busy with your Heavenly Fathers work but on the day when Dad and I visit the Temple I’d love to feel your presence if even for a second. I know I have a mission to fulfill here still but when I’m done I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and kiss your cheeks.

Please have a Happy Birthday and help your family to make it through this week without you.

I love you so much..

Mommy

Katie's 2nd Birthday Cake (Medium)
When Katie Turned 2
Madison's 2nd Birthday (4) (Medium)
When Madison Turned 2
'05 Jenna's 2nd Birthday (21) (Medium)
When Jenna Turned 2
2007_03_31 (17) (Medium)
When Isaac Turned 2

Posted by Amy at 10:45 PM 4 comments

Friday, January 21, 2011

Books From Gabe Labeling & Categorizing …

Ok so we had an amazing turn out tonight for our labeling and categorizing party. As of now we have 1631 books that are cleaned and labeled and categorized into several different groups. We were able to get all of them done in about 2 hours and spent plenty of time visiting and hugging and a little bit of crying. It was fabulous how many people have helped pull this book drive together into a huge success. I’ve been asked several times if I plan on doing this next year and I do. It’s turned out so wonderful and there are so many children in hospitals all over the place that I think this is a worth while service to keep going.

I want all of you who came tonight or who donated books to make this happen to know that I am so touched and so thankful to all of you. I’ve discovered I’m not alone in not wanting my child to be forgotten. I believe that if I do this once a year at Gabriel’s birthday then Gabe will live on through all the books that we’re able to give to these children in need.

Thank you again and here are some great pictures from tonight's huge success.

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Books From Gabe Labeling & Categorizing

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Posted by Amy at 10:27 PM 2 comments

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Books From Gabriel Update…

So today I drove to Blackfoot and met the wonderful ladies who headed up the donations from the Blackfoot Elementary Schools. It was great to meet them and be able to tell them thank you in person. We even took a photo for the records.

Blackfoot Book Ladies 002 (Medium)

Jaimie is on the Left and Annie on the right. Of course that’s me taking up the WHOLE middle. (Sorry not a fan of myself in pictures, especially when I didn’t prepare ahead of time.) Anyway their books filled the whole back of my van with the seats down. My mom and I came back to my house and started counting all the books we had and taking out the really really worn ones. Then at 5pm Frank brought by the books from the big Farm Bureau office. At 7pm Doug brought by the books from his office. Then at 7:30pm I went to Wal-Mart and bought books with the money I had been given. So now we are at 1323 in books donated. We’ve really have had only 50 or so that were not usable. Tomorrow I hope to collect any books that were dropped by Sonic Drive-In. Then  get a few more from friends and family between now and Friday. Really this has turned into a huge success and I’ve had a lot of questions about doing it again next year. I’m hoping to find out how many books Portneuf Medical Center thinks they can use and then share the wealth first with Bingham Memorial and then Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center. Next year we’ll aim for Primary Childrens, Shriners and other Utah Hospitals.

A Note to those coming on Friday, I could use some donated items to help get the books ready for the hospital: White out and a large Black sharpie to cover up messages written to the previous owners or names in the books, Magic erasers, & Clorox wipes to clean the books that are in good condition but need wiped off.  Then don’t for get your treat to share. Thank you so much I really couldn’t have pulled this off without so much wonderful support.

Posted by Amy at 9:18 PM 2 comments

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Labeling & Categorizing Gabe’s Books…

On this upcoming Friday I will be taking all 1000+ of the donated books to our Church house at 4890 Whitaker Rd. Chubbuck Idaho. At 6:30PM we will meet in the primary room unless we need more space and then we’ll be in the gym.

We will begin cleaning the fronts of any books that are in otherwise good condition. We will place labels in each book that read…

From your friend Gabriel Grant Saville
January 26, 2009 – July 12, 2010
Visit my story at da.savillefamily.org

Then we will categorize all the books into age groups and box them up to deliver.

Please come and join us if you’d like to. All I ask is that you bring a snack to share and please do not bring any children under the age of 12.

If you plan on coming I’d love you to leave a comment so I have an idea how many people to be expecting.

Thanks Amy

Posted by Amy at 3:32 PM 2 comments

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sonics' On Board with our book drive…

We just had the most amazing visitor. The manager at the Sonic Drive-In restaurant stopped by and said that they put up a sign on their big billboard that say’s a free drink to anyone dropping off  books for Gabe. So you can drop your books off at the Sonic Drive-In on Yellowstone and get a free drink.  Windi Putnam (manager of Sonic Drive-In)  said her whole staff has read the article in the Journal today and they are all on board to help us in our book drive tradition. She even said that next year if we let her know before Christmas she’d send flyers our with their meals to get more help. She also said the dollar store owner said next year he’d be willing to help send flyers out too. AMAZING!! I love how kind and generous people are.

In regards to the books please remember that they need to be New or Like New. I can’t use books that have been torn, colored on or have tattered pages.

Thank you again, I can’t tell how much it means to our family for all this wonderful support.

Sonic 002 (Medium)

Posted by Amy at 8:25 PM 5 comments

Memorial book drive planned for Gabe…

Today my article came out in the Journal about our book drive for Gabie. I am so excited to share this with Pocatello and the surrounding area. If you don’t get the paper you can go here and read it on the Blackfoot Journal . The article is basically the same post I wrote for my Books From Gabriel I gave them the article and they didn’t change anything. So I guess I just wrote my first and probably my last newspaper article.

Misc 002 (Medium)

I will be placing a tote on my porch with a laminated copy of the article on it for anyone interested in dropping books off to us.

Posted by Amy at 2:26 PM 1 comments

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our Family December 2009

Our Family December 2009
David, Amy, Jenna, Madison, Gabe, Katie & Isaac

Our Family November 2010

Our Family November 2010
Lightening McQueen For Gabie

Gabriel Grant Saville

Gabriel Grant Saville
January 26, 2009 - July 12, 2010

 

About Gabe

 

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