Blessing I want to remember.
November 12th 2013
Two weeks ago on Saturday the 2nd of November Our Grandson Justin got to be baptized and I am so happy for him and proud he made that choice I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Laterday saints is Christ’s church just like it was at the time he walked upon the earth with all of it’s doctrines and blessings restored to the earth. Justin, Grandma and Grandpa are very proud of you and love you very much.
At the first of the week I had had words with one of my sons over the computer and some of his work. I was upset all week over it. and did a great deal of praying but just couldn’t feel peace towards him, I just kept asking the lord what can I say or do that will get through to him. So Saturday when we were getting ready to go to Justin’s baptism and conformation where all the family would be I didn’t want to have bad feelings between myself and my son. I was really struggling with even seeing my son that day, which in its self was very upsetting to me. He has always been one of my best friends and this issue was coming between us and I hated that. So I asked Grant if I was wrong to have said what I said to our son, he assured me I was not. so then I asked Grant to first say a prayer for us and then to give me a blessing.
He was glad to do so and immediately knelt down to pray and then proceeded to give me a blessing. It was a short blessing but a firm blessing; and after wards I began to feel better about things. The Lord blessed me 4 times in the blessing to be physically and mentally and spiritually strong. That I had a mission to fulfill and that I would be strong physically, mentally and spiritually and to go forward with determination... That if I would go forward standing for what was right and serve those who will need my care with determination The Lord would bless me to be physically and mentally and spiritually strong and that my children would see and learn from my example and see the error of their ways and become strong in the Gospel. They would learn and follow my example and serve the Lord honorably and faithfully.
I was kind of hoping the Lord would say it would be ok and I guess in a way he did but I guess I was hoping for a (Good Job you’ve done your job now I will fix it). But that’s not what I got. I kind of felt like he was saying, (Toughen up Butter Cup). If you continue being the mom you are and let me make you stronger and learn to continue teaching truth and stand up for what’s right in all things even if you get a lot of flak from them or anyone else and continue to be determined to teach and lead and stand for truth, then your kids will eventually come around. I guess that’s were (Enduring to the End) comes in.
Monday the 11th of November 2013
Grant and I went to see a surgeon about Grant’s shoulder, it has been hurting him for around 2 years and now it has gotten so he can’t even raise his arm up if it’s strait in front of him. So the Dr did the exam and then told us that the surgery needed to be done right away. He has 4 things wrong with his shoulder that need fixing. It will be an outpatient surgery so he will be in and out the same day, that was the good news. Then he said Grant would be in a sling for 3 months and then have therapy and maybe return to work in 4 – 6 months. Grant and I just looked at each other with disbelief. We were prepared for him to be off work for about 3 months but 6? We felt we had been hit with a ton of bricks. How would we make it for 6 months and pay our bills? But it needs to be done so we decided to move ahead and schedule the surgery. So day after tomorrow on the 14th he is going to have surgery. It’s a good thing; I truly feel that it is. It is what he needs to have done and this is the time to have it done, I know that. I have just been worried about how to pay the bills. We did some calling to see if we had any disability insurance on our loans but we don’t. But it sounds like they would be willing to work with us somehow. Grant does have long term disability through work so we will get some of his paycheck hopefully it will be enough for us to get by on. So the next thing I felt we needed was to call our home teacher who is also our bishop Lynn Stewart. He is an awesome home teacher and bishop and we love him very much. He and his 2nd counselor John McCracken came up and gave both of us a blessing. I know Bishop was very in tune to the spirit and he was listening for what the Lord had to say. In Grant’s blessing he blessed him that his body would respond to the surgery and heal well and be strong. he blessed him that he would have patients and allow his body to heal. he told him that he had missions to fulfill and that he would be able to fulfill them. And this is the one that really touched my heart. He blessed him that he would be able to communicate with people and give advice and know how to guide and direct others and his children that he would communicate with them and give advice and that they would respect and fallow his advice. This was so touching to me because Grant has never felt that he had the ability to guide and say the right thing, talking, in his mind has never been a strong point. But now the Lord has verbally blessed him with that gift if he will have faith and use it. I know that this blessing has to do with more than just this surgery and healing time I think it is a permanent blessing for the future.
As for my blessing Bishop blessed me to be in tune to those around me and their needs and that I should fill those needs. He blessed me as a wife to be sensitive to Grant’s needs. I always thought I was but maybe I am not as good at that as I should be. He blessed me as a mother that I would be able to serve my family and be uplifting to them and that there would be others who would need my service and sensitivity. He also blessed me that my health would be adequate to do the things I needed to do. and that my body would be made strong to fulfill the things I was sent to do. The one thing that really surprised me was that he said (the Lord was concerned that I was worried. That I should have faith and not worry, and believe everything would work out) I have never thought of the Lord as being concerned that I was worried. I guess I just figured that the Lord knows everything so he wouldn’t be concerned about anything or at least that he would be concerned about me. I still feel startled by his wording of (the Lord was concerned that I was worried) I am going to have to do some thinking and praying about it. I guess I have been feeling a little overwhelmed with everything that has been going on in my life lately, Helping Marilyenn get off on her mission, babysitting for the kids. Worrying about Chet and Stacy and trying to help my kids understand what’s coming in the future. I do worry that they will not be ready for what’s coming. I feel we are closer to the second coming than they think. I see the sings and I feel the time is right upon us. I could be wrong but I don’t feel that I am. I am seeing dreams that I have had coming true weekly. I have been trying to get more food storage and medicinal storage built up and now with this surgery I won’t be able to continue to build up like I would like to. But then I guess that’s what he meant by the Lord was concerned that I was worried. I need to stop worrying and just have faith and go with whatever the Lord will have me do. Oh and he also blessed me that I would be able to look around and find solutions to problems that may arise. What an awesome blessing. Now if I can find it in myself to do all the Lord has directed. That seems to be the hard part for me. I am feeling so tired from all the things that have been asked of me and yet I have the feeling that a great deal more is going to be asked so I pray the Lord to right my thinking of self pity and help me find the strength to push on and endure until the end.
When night is at it deepest and things are dark and dim then the sun comes up and warms the soul within.